Don't Ever Take Your Bowels for Granted, and Obey the Lord in the Early Hours

From Audrea
4am

Once again I am up early in the 4:00 hour because my poor stomach is just a churnin’ and a turnin’ and I’m awaiting my sweet nurse to bring me my small portion of pain medicine. That stuff, I think, has morphine in it, and I sure have been grateful, considering the pain I’ve been in when trying to (for the sake of being polite) “eliminate” waste. That part of the story, however, is for a little later.

I didn’t write yesterday because I’d had a bad night previous. I couldn’t go to sleep. I tossed and turned and by 1 a.m. I was cranky. I felt the Lord telling that I might as well get up, push my i.v. pole down the hall and pray for every single person on this floor.Well you know me, I had to make a fuss about that.

An argument ensued because all I wanted to do was fall asleep and stay asleep. I told the Lord people would think I was weird if I did that, and then I heard this voice (probably my own) say “people already think you’re weird, so get up and pray.” I realized this argument would continue until I obeyed, and with no hope of winning, I got up, unplugged my i.v. pole, and entered the bright hallway.No one was about, so I started on my end and slowly prayed for each patient, by name (since it’s written outside all the doors).

I figured out that about half of the patients were still awake, and most of them were well into their senior years. So I prayed for these special people who, like me, were recovering from surgery. I prayed for healing and I prayed they’d get some of the sleep I’d been deprived of.One or two of the nurses asked me if I was okay or sleepy, and I simply said I was praying. They asked me to include them, so I did.Once I finished my round, I headed back to bed and finally, around 2 a.m.

I fell asleep.

I “slept in” until 8 when the nurses came in, blinded me with the lights, took my vitals, and stuffed me full of medicine.Yesterday was a mixture of the good and the bad. I was able to find some independence by bathing myself all by myself. Oh glorious privacy.I was released from my TPM (the nutritional life support) to freely roam, unattached to my i.v. pole, for about 10 hours.

They have me on a new cyclical 14 hour intake of that stuff.So, when Jeff came in, bringing the children from getting their shots, we all took a little trip down to the “meditation garden” (guess that’s the politically correct way to call something a prayer garden). I somehow forgot it was Texas in the dead of summer. I lasted all of 3 minutes outside before calling it quits due to the extreme heat.We came back into the atrium, where I happily watched my children throwing pennies into the fountain and hopping from chair to chair.

Besides the fact that I was still in a dressing gown and sitting in a wheelchair, I felt normal watching them play unhindered.The rest of the day was a little rough. I was so very tired, but unable to sleep. And the “bowel issues” hit with full force.Because I only have the 4 inches to my small intestine my bowel functions are basically out of control. I cried sitting on the toilet as liquid streamed painfully from both ends. This is the way I’ll use the bathroom from now on, though the pain is supposed to eventually subside.

Don’t ever take your bowels for granted. I have to go a lot, too.Because I’m doing so well, I was given the go ahead to begin a “clear liquids diet”—I got to drink my first sip of water in over a week ( I have been so parched and crunching ice just doesn’t do the trick sometimes). I ate a cube of red jello, and I drank part of a glass of cranberry juice. I’m glad I didn’t overly indulge because those things, as expected, slid right through me, another bout of potty time blues.In light of everything that’s occurred, struggling with bathroom issues shouldn’t cause me as much angst as it is, but it is. I can’t get too far from a toilet, though the doctors have started me on some high powered, terrible tasting form of morphine that’s supposed to dull the pain (it does) and decrease the frequency at which I run into the bathroom. I never know when it’s going to hit, so pray for that.

I’m really struggling with this adjustment.· Pray for the next step.

We were basically accepted into a transplant program and given the green light to head up there as soon as the hospital cleared me, but we’re running into financial problems. The nature of how this occurred necessitated legal intervention and I hate that, but that’s the way the system is set up – like dealing with auto insurance after a car accident. I may wind up having to go home for awhile (learning to live on this TPN and hook myself up to the i.v. etc.) while the administrators and others work through the sticky details. I am a little worried about where it all will come from, but mostly the timing.

As you can well imagine, I’m ready for my transplant TODAY!

But, I have to trust that though this may present a big concrete roadblock, God is still in control and it will all be in His timing.

Prayer Requests:
· Pray for my mind and Jeff’s stress. Pray that we’ll truly learn to trust in God’s timing and provision for our every need.· Pray for my “movement” issues (and thank God the next time you go!!!) because I’m really struggling through this.

· Pray for my family and Jeff’s family to stay strong and united during this time.Once again, thank you for your love and support. Today is my oldest brother’s birthday (Aaron), so if you know him, give him a shout out. He’s supposed to share his birthday with me tonight, by coming by the hospital to play games.I’ve been trying to think of a clever poem or something to write about him, but the last time I did that I equated him to Chicken Little and I realized I should be encouraging/uplifting him instead.